The CEO of a major domestic violence shelter reveals she is a survivor
The CEO of a domestic violence shelter tells her story
Domestic violence doesn’t care about education, class or gender. A woman who spoke with FOX 4 is evidence of just that.
DALLAS - Domestic violence doesn’t care about education, class or gender. A woman who spoke with FOX 4 is evidence of just that.
A CEO's personal journey
What they're saying:
Tiffany Tate, the CEO of The Family Place, has a title that carries a lot of weight. CEO of one of the largest domestic violence service organizations in North Texas.
Tiffany Tate
But she’s not speaking as a CEO, she’s speaking as living proof. Because even the person running the place… needed the place.
"I wanted to come on today to talk about my experience with narcissistic abuse as the leader of a domestic violence services program. I think it's important that we share our story so that we can help others," said Tate.
"You question your sanity a lot because of the behavior of the narcissist. And so, what really started happening to me day in and day out, is that I just really started questioning my reality, like, Are my feelings real? Are my emotions real?"
Understanding narcissistic abuse
Not fear, not anger, but doubt.
"Narcissists are generally very engaging people publicly. They are well liked by community members in general, because they have a way to mask their behaviors," said Tate.
And when everyone believes them, you stop believing in yourself.
"I knew that something was wrong about four years in, but it took an additional, really, four to five years to say, ‘Okay, I'm done.’ And that decision was immediate," she said.
Overcoming shame and finding support
Dig deeper:
For a long time, we’ve only recognized one kind of pain, but pain doesn’t always leave marks, and everyone isn’t always ready to leave.
"I don't necessarily see it as brave at this point. I feel and have felt a lot of shame around being in this position and doing the work that I do," said Tate.
Bravery doesn’t always feel brave, especially when you’re still healing.
"You're safe. This is a safe space for you. We are here to support you. We tell them that there's no timeline on their healing."
Sometimes the most powerful words are the simplest
"The biggest thing I wish I'd heard was, ‘No, you're not crazy.’"
Saying she might have trusted herself sooner if she heard those words sooner.
"My kids started saying, like, ‘You're laughing, like I hear you laughing.’ And that was just so heartwarming to them, because they hadn't heard that for so long, and I didn't realize that that's what they were experiencing," said Tate.
The Family Place offers domestic violence help for men
In recent weeks, two men in North Texas have been murdered by a current or former intimate partner. The Family Place, a domestic violence shelter, wants men in abusive relationships to know that they have a place to turn to for help.
What's next:
For Tiffany Tate and anyone else who recognizes themselves in this story, she said her kids made the journey worth it in the end.
Crisis resources and contact information
What you can do:
If you or someone you know is facing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or text them at 88788 with the message "BEGIN."If you or a loved one is feeling distressed, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. The crisis center provides free and confidential emotional support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to civilians and veterans. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Or text HOME to 741-741 (Crisis Text Line). As of July 2022, those searching for help can also call 988 to be relayed to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
The Source: Information in this article was provided by FOX 4's Vania Castillo.